FILE DATE: March 22, 2025 | STATUS: LOGGED
Video Information
Source Link: Watch on YouTube Channel: Roboto San
Description
Part II, Diogenes has just left Timbo with word that three visitors will be coming. And a pile of human waste on his couch.
Music: Song: Shout Artist: Tears For Fears
Song: Godzilla Artist: BOC
Song: Holiday Song: Boulevard of Broken Dreams Artist: Green Day
Song: Supersonic Artist: Oasis
Song: Zero Artist: Smashing Pumpkins
#lolcows
English Transcript (Auto-Generated)
View Searchable Transcript
**[00:00]** and like a fart in the wind diis was gone which was more than could be said for what he did on the couch Timbo stared blankly at the festering pile of human filth on the cushion that had so often hosted his bare feet that maybe if I covered it up with things I can keep the smell locked up he thought but then he remembered the stream an audience of eight people had just watched a strange old
**[00:24]** guy fully relieve himself in timbo's living room a smarter man might have worried about YouTube TOS violations Timbo was not a smarter man he pointed his camera directly at the waist and demanded to know who sent the weirdo who did this chat was silent for about a thousandth of a second then better call the cops Potato Head the police yes they would have to do something about this he picked up his phone and quickly dialed 112
**[00:55]** for once they would be forced to serve his needs in a way he almost enjoyed what was happening thank you old man he said under his breath you just made my day unfortunately for him the operator picked up right then and heard what he said he too spoke English and responded in kind hello do you need Emergency Services sir he'd had more than one Foreigner accidentally dial 112 yeah this guy just broke into my house I
**[01:24]** need the police he dutifully began the process of dispatching officers I see what is your location please Spud dud suddenly smelled a rat that wasn't there wait is this some kind of trick shouldn't you know where I am the operator was stunned we do get a general location from your phone but I'm just asking where the crime happened Timbo winced he knew that why did he always have to make things difficult oh yeah sure right sorry
**[01:54]** I've just been dealing with a lot of stuff my address is 123 Landers lb Anders lb Halden Haagen Denmark my name is Tim duly entered the address into the system and pulled up a name Thomas dah he double checked yep that was the legal name oh I see are you reporting this for the person who lives there or can I speak with Mr doll Spud dud winced harder there it was again that damn name yeah that's
**[02:22]** me but I go by Tim duly now Pete potato ofel life as he said that he was busy reading up on Mr doll's some what extensive record theft assault car related offenses and of course the my Marcado incident so Mr Dire dly um is the Intruder still there no no he's gone but he did [__] and piss on my couch he said matter of factly oh okay um are you or anyone else injured next question struck
**[02:53]** another nerve in timbo's smooth brain [__] yes I'm injured my couch is ruined I need need help now o Here We Go Again switched lines in radio dispatch Unit 8 dispatch be advised we have a report of a Breakin at 123 Landers L Anders L Halden Hagen there was a pause then a voice crackled through damn it that's D's Place what's he doing this time did his neighbors beat him up for playing music and screaming too
**[03:22]** loud at 4:00 a.m. no he says someone broke into his place and defecated on his couch a long silence no [__] actually that would be the solution in this case he says there is indeed [__] so by all means take your time getting there wouldn't classify this as a code 3 emergency or whatever we call them here in Denmark back at timbo's apartment [__] me it's awful I can't stand it timbo's arms flailed wildly trying to
**[03:54]** somehow intercept the stench pouring into his nostrils jogging to the kitchen he found an ancient box of baking soda yes baking soda that would soak up the odor or it might have if this particular box hadn't been there since 2019 attempting to sprinkle it out Spud dud clenched in more than one place when nothing came out looking inside the slot he could clearly see something no matter he ripped the top off and dumped the contents into
**[04:26]** the poop what he got was a solid block of what what used to be baking soda it plopped into the pile with a rather disgusting sput and that's when he heard it a new voice from the hallway are you seasoning it Timbo spun around inst strutted detective Harry Callahan Dirty Harry himself he took one look at the couch before fixing his gaze upon Timbo it's serious Harry snorted oh yeah it's serious all right seriously funny I'd
**[04:56]** be laughing my ass off he paused then finished if I couldn't smell it are you even a real detective I'm the real deal Timbo but I'm not here to investigate who left a duty on your couch frankly I feel damn sorry for whoever ends up with that job I'm here to show you why you're a friendless reject kind of like the Ghost of Christmas Past only you ain't exactly Ebenezer Scrooge are you Timbo blinked oh Christ
**[05:27]** this is some dumb Christmas Carol crap isn't it let's get the hell out of here the smell is starting to make me want to puke with a calm motion he dawned his signature sunglasses and as soon as he did they were somewhere else Timbo recognized it immediately except it was 2019 a Monday night around 10: p.m. seated at his computer was a past version of himself but not Timbo not even potato no this was Kitty style
**[05:57]** hair past his shoulders no Ai No delusions of grandeur just 2 lers of Europe's equivalent of bum wine and a grand plan on the screen chat scrolled by Timbo watched in horror as his former self stared into the camera blinking blly it's Monday let's go to a club let's go get some [__] Harry shook his head you certainly have a way with words don't you Tommy Boy and with thinking it's Monday night in nowhere Denmark how
**[06:32]** many women you think you'll find on a weak night I'm starting to think you're not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed Spud dud Kitty stood up grabbed his phone and walked out the first stop the closed bar Timbo and Callahan followed Kitty as he staggered through the empty streets muttering about how Denmark sucked for NTI he came across the first bar closed Kitty frowned Shak the lock door handle oh what the hell it's Monday Harry
**[07:03]** smirked thought you were God's Spud dud why not Miracle it open Timbo watched himself through gritted teeth he muttered this isn't fair you're taking it out of context Callahan let out a chuckle don't worry Spud dud you're going to get all the context you can handle and more Callahan raised an eyebrow before we get there there's one thing I got to know how do you remember what's about to happen Timbo huffed shifting uncomfortably I mean I
**[07:30]** was just minding my business right I wanted to go out have a good time meet some people you know and they were the ones being rude I didn't do anything wrong he glanced at Callahan defensive look people just don't like guys like me I get it they see someone with confidence someone who's different and they get all scared that's all it was they overreacted his voice wavered slightly I wasn't that drunk either I knew what I
**[08:06]** was doing I remember being totally in control of myself Harry asked so what you're saying is you meant to film the people who didn't want your company Timbo scowled I wasn't filming them I was just streaming I stream everything it's not my fault if they happened to be in the shot if they didn't want to be on camera they could have just ignored it he crossed his arms and besides it's not like I was being a
**[08:35]** creep or anything I was just trying to talk to them be friendly you know people love being on streams if anything they should have been grateful I was including them in the back corner he spotted the leather couch perfect across from the couch sat a group of four two men two women the last remaining cluster of human interaction in this this dead zone of a bar Kitty beelined for the couch and plopped down as close as
**[09:03]** humanly possible his phone still streaming rested in his lap its screen casting a pale glow over his flushed face Kitty sat there doing nothing for a solid minute just fidgeting tapping his knee scrolling through chat and glancing over at the group every few seconds chat was already roasting him dude do something Timbo Frozen like a deer in headlight ELO he's working up the courage we got a live one boys Kitty now acutely aware that he looked
**[09:37]** like a man hovering awkwardly near a social group he wasn't part of decided he needed to do something first he patted his pockets cigarettes [__] must have left them back at the Fortress of Solitude a super Spud Kitty bolted from the couch and staggered up to the bar the bartender already assessed that he was a problem stared at him unimpressed you sell cigarettes she nodded and told him the price Kitty in his slight drunken stuper took
**[10:05]** an extra minute digging through his pockets for the right amount a long painful minute she handed him the pack Kitty nodded to himself feeling accomplished now back at the couch Kitty patted himself down again no lighter Timbo watching all this from the gro Jesus I remember this now Harry smirked and yet you managed to still look surprised kitty having exhausted his own Pockets turned to the group next to him he leaned in slightly toward the nearest
**[10:35]** man one of the guys on the double date hey man you got a lighter the guy not wanting to make a scene handed over his Zippo Kitty lit his cigarette took a drag and handed it back he now felt marginally cooler kind of a shamed to learn God needs to borrow a guy's lighter to get his cigarette going his confidence slightly boosted Kitty noticed a guitar resting beside the couch a cheap beat up six string except
**[11:04]** it had five strings Kitty feeling inspired picked it up he gave zero thought to the fact that he was about to play a broken guitar in a public space chat was egging him on oh no do it Timbo we getting free bird or what it sounded like absolute ass half a cord a string slap another half cord one of the women at the table gased slightly her date snickered Kitty blissfully unaware pressed on for another painful
**[11:33]** minute eventually satisfied that he had serated the bar he set the guitar back down he now had to seal the deal well that pretty much sucked Timbo who knew guitars need things like strings or tuning oh right guitarists Kitty leaned in toward the group hey mind if I join you guys the first guy the one whose lighter he borrowed shook his head no sorry man last guy we let join our group turned out to be a
**[12:00]** weirdo plus you know it's kind of a double date who wants to be a fifth wheel the other guy laughed heartily went insane ELO rejected they called him a weirdo to his face that's a no champ Kitty tried to play it cool yeah fair enough but inside inside the rage was already boiling Timbo knew what happened next this was the moment this was where the fuse was lit timbo timbo bristled oh come on it wasn't like
**[12:36]** that I wasn't even that drunk I knew exactly what I was doing he gestured wildly at his past self I was just being social people always act like I was some kind of Menace but I wasn't doing anything wrong if they were so uncomfortable they could have just I don't know moved or something it's a public place that's rich Timbo they were there first are folks supposed to part like the Red Sea for you don't answer
**[13:07]** that it's a joke a distinct point in his Cadence Timbo scoffed Crossing his arms oh so I'm the problem now maybe they just didn't like Outsiders maybe they were the [__] huh ever think about that he jabbed a finger at kitty who was still trying to sneak another look at the group besides they weren't moving were they so clearly it wasn't that big of a deal to them you're filming them and your nose even I can
**[13:33]** see them on your screen Timbo flinched he looked at his past self phone in hand the screen reflecting the faces of the four people at the table clear as day his lips pressed into a thin line well I mean it's not like I was doing anything bad I wasn't Callahan cut him off with a scoff even I can see them on your screen Timbo huffed shifting his weight okay maybe it looked weird but I wasn't like
**[14:05]** harassing them or anything he gestured at the scene they're just sitting there drinking they're fine as if on Q the woman at the table turned toward past Timbo her brow furrowed could you stop filming us please present Timbo winced Callahan quipped that was Danish right she says it again not a Danish speaker myself Timbo but even I can recognize when someone wants you to stop filming them Timbo shifted uncomfortably watching the scene unfold his past self
**[14:40]** kitty style just sat there blinking like a broken animatronic as the woman repeated herself I mean I wasn't trying to Callahan let out a dry chuckle get caught well you almost could have fooled me but caught you were and how you handled it pretty pretty well sums up who you are Timbo scowled arms Crossing defensively I just didn't think she met me at first I thought maybe she was talking to someone else you know it takes
**[15:12]** a special kind of stupid to say that with a straight face let's have a quick look around I see the couch I see the table and double date you filmed and besides the bartender I see two old fart at a small table across the room do you even think before you lie or are you really just that dumb Timbo bristled his lips pressing into a thin line okay okay maybe she did mean me but like it
**[15:41]** wasn't that big of a deal I wasn't hurting anyone Callahan gave him a slow pitying nod well here's the thing they didn't like the idea of being part of your show and didn't set out to put themselves in the public eye you do know the difference right in his mind Timbo scoffed of course he knew the difference it was well uh [__] he realized he did not actually know the difference at least not the way Callahan
**[16:14]** seemed to look public is public if people don't want to be seen they shouldn't go out no public means being in a place open to the public the public I means the public knows about someone were these people live streamers no they were not you on the other hand are actively trying to put yourself in the public eye see how they didn't want any part of that hell you didn't even ask for consent did you timbo's
**[16:47]** fingers curled into fists at his sides it's not like I did anything illegal not yet but you and I both know that this ain't over and no matter how booze brained or dim you might have been you remember how this thing ended up escalating to involve the police don't you except you probably remember them as the Danish gapo there to ruin your good time Timbo could feel the anger inside building again clearly Callahan was just another
**[17:15]** troll there to make him feel bad about something that was not his doing look I am sick of people like you blaming me for everything that goes wrong in my life can't you see that I am a good person who just wants people to love him Tim douly is probably the best person you've ever even seen best buddy it depends on what you mean by that if you mean the guy I'd want to spend the rest
**[17:41]** of my life hanging around you're wrong if you mean the best person at deflecting dodging and victim playing you could be right let's look at what we've seen so far you decided that Monday night was the best time to go out pick up a woman at a club and get laid I think we can safely say that was a bad idea before you ever even left your apartment now here you are apparently trying to invade a
**[18:07]** double date badly when that didn't work your precious feelings were hurt whose fault was it that your failure was broadcasted to a bunch of trolls whose fault is it that you couldn't handle being indirectly called a weirdo your mom's as they had been talking the woman who caught Timbo was speaking to the owner/ bartender at this point they returned are you filming these people the owner asked sternly Kitty gave her his best innocent puppy dog look
**[18:37]** instead of answering right away the woman added nice sad face buddy but we all saw you filming us Kitty's face scrunched up as though she had insulted his honor nobody filmed you he said and repeated yes you did don't Gaslight me [__] her response sharply cut through his attempt at victim claiming Kitty spat back I'm allowed to stream my life this is public the owner retorted yes but not if you disturb my guests it was obvious
**[19:09]** the owner was taking the woman's side and kitty wasn't going to have it I was just minding my business e he cried Callahan laughed you know the funniest thing here you say you're a genius but you're arguing like a 5-year-old who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar and crumbs on his face telling Mommy he didn't take any cookies this is the part where a normal person would say hey you know what I really
**[19:36]** [__] up here and I should just man up and accept the blame not you oh no you were a 30 plusy Old 4-year-old and speaking a four-year-olds guess where we are going now timbo's eyes opened wide for a moment but quickly returned to a cold self assured gaze he hadn't been prepared to hear that he might have to confront Little Tommy Dal however the part of his brain that always steered him wrong came to life with
**[20:03]** a really unhelpful realization hey we were a smart curious kid he's making a big mistake showing young Tim douly with that a smirk graced his lips as he said to my childhood Callahan returned the smirk and Timbo felt his stomach drop just a little bit that's right Timbo let's go to a barbecue Harry put on his Shades and like that they were at a Backyard Barbecue the adults were engaged in socializing and nobody noticed young Timbo
**[20:34]** staring blankly at the grill mesmerized by the glow and Rising currents of heated air that seemed to twist the light you've got that I'm about to do something really stupid look on your face and you did didn't you Timbo opened his mouth to respond however at that moment young Timbo climbed up onto an adjacent bench and placed a Barefoot squarely on top of the Hot Grill the child immediately shrieked in pain the adult's heads instinctively turned
**[21:04]** toward the source of the sound Jesus Christ Tom what the hell did you do his father asked as he picked up the screaming toddler the only answer was more screaming Callahan turned to Timbo whose face betrayed an expression of something like Pride well that was pretty stupid how come you look like you just watched yourself hit a home run Timbo hadn't meant to betray his feelings like that and he stammered uh I um I'm just proud
**[21:32]** that I was brave enough to do something so bold Callahan laughed dare to be stupid but you know what I think you had a slightly different agenda than merely figuring out what a second degree burn on your foot would feel like are you sure you weren't just trying to get the adults to pay attention to you they all seemed so much more interested in socializing amongst themselves nobody wanted to talk about cartoons Donald Duck or anything
**[22:05]** you wanted to discuss did they I don't remember and no I really was just trying to figure the world out through trial and error he hissed sure you were just like when you ran away from Mom's house at Age 2 or tried jumping out of a moving car the following year you certainly picked the most dramatic ways possible to learn about the world is that what you were doing at the bar in an instant they were
**[22:33]** back to Kitty's Night Out in 2019 Kitty was standing at this point demanding his money back the owner said he couldn't have it but instead transferred his beer into a plastic cup the two men on the date were standing up and one of the old men had come over and was telling Kitty to stop making trouble of course nobody tells God to chill out and that just made Kitty even more angry give me my money back
**[22:58]** Kitty snarled at that point the people present were done the two guys grabbed Kitty by either arm and dragged him out into the street he was outside for less than a minute before he decided to return and demand a refund you know I have to say for God you're really quite the sensitive candy ass Timbo he walked back into the bar insisting that his money be returned the men who had ejected him were flabbergasted the old
**[23:24]** man who had followed the action simply smirked and turned his back on the drunken fool this was Kitty's last straw how dare this old fart look down on God how dare he turn his back respect was warranted and if he didn't want to give it God would Smite him Kitty's fist flew through the air and landed squarely on the back of the man's head and like that the fight was on the two daters were back on
**[23:49]** Timbo shoving him out again Kitty's phone tumbled out of his pocket during the scuffle and the people watching were treated to a view of kitty being dragged off in a blur of hair meanwhile Timbo and Harry had a better view the men were holding Kitty down who had gone into victim mode again I can't breathe I didn't do anything the police were on the way so do you still think none of this was your fault maybe
**[24:17]** waking up to the idea that the entire night out was both a bad idea and your bad idea alone inside Timbo brain it was an inferno of rage and deflection he had just watched himself be treated like a creep and he knew he wasn't a creep no it's not my fault how can you see all of this and think it was my fault all they had to do was let me join them they didn't know what
**[24:45]** they were missing then they decided to pick on me by getting the owner it's a conspiracy you want me to stop being me because you know I'm Jesus Christ Jesus Christ I know many things Timbo but that is definitely not on my list of known facts in my mind you're a sad socially [__] sicko who touched his stepsister Christ and you only come up when I think something like Jesus Christ what is this guy's problem and
**[25:16]** wouldn't you know it I'm thinking that right now well this has been a pantload of fun Timbo but the time has come for me to take you home except except I'm not going back into that sewer so I'm just going to plop you on the couch from here my teleport aim isn't as good as my aim with a gun so let's hope I don't put you in the [__] literally or maybe let's do don't forget I
**[25:42]** was just your first visitor in this bad Dickens knockoff your next guest is probably going to blow what little mind you have left will Timbo end up in the mess diogenes made who is the next visitor what are they going going to show him that he'll twist into another Victory join us for the next episode near tube soon you to coming I mean coming soon to a tube near you thanks for watching and have a great
**[26:11]** weekend